About
I have been a pastor for the past 13 years. During that time I have worked in churches with memberships of 50, 250, and 2500. In each ministry I have been blessed to see God do amazing things in the lives of people and in the life of His church. I am very privileged to currently be serving in the effort of starting a new church in ABQ.
The story God has been developing in me:
I first heard about Jesus as a child at church. I got baptized to avoid the judgment of God. I was taught that God was really into rules and was eager to send me to Hell. I worked hard at being good hoping that I would not die having really blown it that day, believing that I would go to Heaven if I died on a day that I was good and Hell on a day that I was bad.
When I read Camus’ The Stranger as a senior in high school, I was blown away. The other French existential writers were soon to follow in my reading. I had never heard of an alternative ethic before I read Camus. The idea that I could rid myself of guilt and moral obligation was refreshing to me at the time. I was tired of religion. Religion for me was like working really hard for a boss that never saw any good in you. So I quit.
I was unreligious for a few years in college. I went to an art college in Savannah, Ga. I smoked cigars with a professor, who became a friend, on the roof of our school and watched the sun go down over the city. We did this about once a week. We talked about things. He was an illustrator for the New Yorker and Playboy magazine. I admired his life more than any of my elders at church.
I found living like the devil left me empty. Creating my own morality didn’t work, because no one lives like that. I read C.S. Lewis and realized it was stupid to think that everyone could just make up their own morality and assume that we could do that and never hurt anyone. The fact is I saw many people hurt. I saw the sense in a moral standard and so I sought it out.
I started smoking cigars with a youth pastor in Mount Dora. Jesse taught me about a religion that centered on Jesus. I never thought much about Jesus. I knew all of the Bible stories from my youth, but I never thought much about them. We talked about Jesus, and I began to think about Him. I went to a Christ In Youth Conference over that summer. Robin Sigars spoke one night. His wife had just died, and he spoke about her in the message. He played an audio recording of his wife talking about Heaven and longing to see her children there. They sang songs of praise to Jesus on her death bed. She died of cancer. She died happily. I heard in her songs a religion that was relational, real, and authentic. I did not hear fear. I heard hope, confidence, peace, courage, and love. I cried, repented, and decided to seek the truth.
I went to Bible college with an afro, my best thrift store clothes, boxes full of incense, painting supplies, and tobacco. I hated the rules there. I loved my first semester of courses though. I took apologetics, ethics, world religions, and evidences. I wanted to satisfy my skepticism. I almost got kicked out for my behavior (I thought curfew was a suggestion). I went to honor committee dressed up as a clown. I told them I thought their process reminded me of a circus, and I wanted to dress the part. I was not well liked by my authorities. At first, that was the case. Later my professors were as close as friends. They respected my questions about God. They answered them with humility and honesty. I later found a God that was not only relational, but I found a God that made sense. I found out that Jesus came to earth with both grace and truth.
